sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
