I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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