how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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