You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
two words: eviction party
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
