i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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