He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
