"it" just moved
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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