do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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