look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
