If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
