if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
