I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
