But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
