i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
