There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
