Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
