I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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