I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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