i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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