Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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