all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
im on a boat
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