I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
