Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
