??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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