She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
