Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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