Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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