I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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