Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
