dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
