Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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