Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
