The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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