Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
