Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
