apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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