yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
