i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
