He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
