I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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