U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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