Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
