she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
