im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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