quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
