Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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