you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
