My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
