beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
