at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
