it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
