If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
